While there is some flexibility to shift the order of events to suit your individual circumstances, the stages of mediation typically follow a set pattern.

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1. Identify the issues - What do you need to sort out? E.g. house, pensions, debts, children issues?
2. Timeline - A shared exploration of key dates to help explain and inform subsequent decisions.
3. Exploring the Issues - Illustrate your situation and inform a personal action plan.
4. Principles - The things that are most important for you e.g. you might want the children to remain in the family home or to ensure a fair division of assets.
5. Detailed Disclosure -

• Married/Civil Partners-full disclosure and supporting evidence of all assets, liabilities, income, and pensions (plus expenditure where relevant) is required to make arrangements legally binding.

• Unmarried-have a choice about the limits of disclosure and you will need to decide what disclosures are relevant to your decision-making.

6. Production of the Open Financial Statement - a schedule of the facts of your financial situation; as it is factual, either of you can use this, for example, to take legal advice about options.
7. Option Development - Starts when all relevant information has been disclosed, to ensure you are making well-informed decisions. You will each have a preferred option and have the opportunity to think of other possibilities too.
8. Further Action Planning - What further information do you need to reality test your ideas and make sound decisions? E.g. if proposing to buy out your ex-partner via a mortgage, the plan would include exploring mortgage offers or you might want advice on pension options.
9. Exploring and Narrowing Options - By this stage the options have begun to narrow. You should have had the benefit of legal advice and have ruled out some options as unachievable or undesirable.
10. Agreed Proposals - Negotiating any outstanding issues to reach mutually acceptable agreed proposals. Making sure everything has been considered and covered.
11. Memorandum of Understanding - A record of your decisions, why reached, and how and when they will be achieved. It is legally privileged so it cannot be used in any legal proceedings without the consent of you both. This document forms the basis of any legal orders that are needed to make the arrangements legally binding.